Beautiful, isn't he? I know, it's not so modest of me, but I can't help it. I love him.
Saturday, November 22, 2008
My Baby at 5 Months
Beautiful, isn't he? I know, it's not so modest of me, but I can't help it. I love him.
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Growing Pain - Part 3
When I had the sudden inspiration to write about Michelle a little while back, I didn't intend to drag this story out like this. I happened to have mended some uneven patches with her just then, and I wanted to blog about it so that I can organize my thoughts and feelings after the occasion. If my thoughts and feelings are organized, I'm not sure, and sadly, I'm a little too swamped with things at the moment to care. So this is the last blog on this subject matter:
I wrote in Part 2 of the story that life was good and exciting. Well, it wasn't THAT good. My marriage of two years to David wasn't going well. I got married at twenty one, you see. I had been awful in love with David and got married quickly after having met him in New York. Then to follow him to Hong Kong was a big undertaking. I was too young and unstable to handle big issues we had in our relationship. We decided to separate for a try. To facilitate the decision, David took a six months sabbatical to Israel while I stayed on in Hong Kong to continue on with things.
After David left for Israel, I realized I felt suddenly relieved from horrible burden from my failing relationship with David. I am much better at dealing with things head on now, but back then, I used to love putting matters aside in favor of frivolous denial. Surely, going out with Michelle for a night of wild fun seemed much more in vogue than mulling things over alone at home. After a month or so of living it up, I've decided that partying is what I wanted, not a serious relationship that gave me pain.
Michelle and I went out night after night in search of pleasure, and quite frankly, of men. I was living a life of a Hedonist and and an Escapist. As a default, so was she. Looking back, Michelle didn't know exactly what she was doing. I influenced her in a big way and she basically followed my way. She was younger than me, and perhaps I should have protected her from all the craziness that went on. Michelle began experiencing social confusion and financial trouble. she seemed to blame me for the bad relationship dynamics she got herself into with real asshole types rampant in Hong Kong playground. I knew even then that she was trying to distance herself from me after she started seeing me as the source of distress in her life. This fact bothered me very much because in my limited ways I thought I was being her real friend by introducing her to the life that she was curious about at that time. The truth was, I myself needed so much guidance. I was young and vastly lost from my past endeavors and marital failure.
Eventually, Michelle got herself together and took off for a fancy job in Singapore. By that time our friendship was close to non-existence, but I was still hurt when after all the youthful camaraderie she moved without bidding me farewell. What happened to me is another story, but all in all, I got back together with David after a few years separation.
I continued to hear about Michelle through a mutual friend until one day she got married to an English block and gave birth to her daughter. I had mixed feelings when I received from her, after a long period of absence, an email with pictures of her daughter. A haphazard words of congratulations was all I could muster up without sounding like I didn't care. Since then though, Michelle continued to send me regards, emailing periodically and sending me SMS on my birthdays. Then I myself gave birth to Liam. Giving birth made me mature in a few unwarranted ways. One of them was the desire to sort out the past doings. I sent an email (Thank god for emails!!) to her initiating a talk and she replied like a real grown up that she is. It was great to act so maturely for once. Fin.
I wrote in Part 2 of the story that life was good and exciting. Well, it wasn't THAT good. My marriage of two years to David wasn't going well. I got married at twenty one, you see. I had been awful in love with David and got married quickly after having met him in New York. Then to follow him to Hong Kong was a big undertaking. I was too young and unstable to handle big issues we had in our relationship. We decided to separate for a try. To facilitate the decision, David took a six months sabbatical to Israel while I stayed on in Hong Kong to continue on with things.
After David left for Israel, I realized I felt suddenly relieved from horrible burden from my failing relationship with David. I am much better at dealing with things head on now, but back then, I used to love putting matters aside in favor of frivolous denial. Surely, going out with Michelle for a night of wild fun seemed much more in vogue than mulling things over alone at home. After a month or so of living it up, I've decided that partying is what I wanted, not a serious relationship that gave me pain.
Michelle and I went out night after night in search of pleasure, and quite frankly, of men. I was living a life of a Hedonist and and an Escapist. As a default, so was she. Looking back, Michelle didn't know exactly what she was doing. I influenced her in a big way and she basically followed my way. She was younger than me, and perhaps I should have protected her from all the craziness that went on. Michelle began experiencing social confusion and financial trouble. she seemed to blame me for the bad relationship dynamics she got herself into with real asshole types rampant in Hong Kong playground. I knew even then that she was trying to distance herself from me after she started seeing me as the source of distress in her life. This fact bothered me very much because in my limited ways I thought I was being her real friend by introducing her to the life that she was curious about at that time. The truth was, I myself needed so much guidance. I was young and vastly lost from my past endeavors and marital failure.
Eventually, Michelle got herself together and took off for a fancy job in Singapore. By that time our friendship was close to non-existence, but I was still hurt when after all the youthful camaraderie she moved without bidding me farewell. What happened to me is another story, but all in all, I got back together with David after a few years separation.
I continued to hear about Michelle through a mutual friend until one day she got married to an English block and gave birth to her daughter. I had mixed feelings when I received from her, after a long period of absence, an email with pictures of her daughter. A haphazard words of congratulations was all I could muster up without sounding like I didn't care. Since then though, Michelle continued to send me regards, emailing periodically and sending me SMS on my birthdays. Then I myself gave birth to Liam. Giving birth made me mature in a few unwarranted ways. One of them was the desire to sort out the past doings. I sent an email (Thank god for emails!!) to her initiating a talk and she replied like a real grown up that she is. It was great to act so maturely for once. Fin.
Monday, November 3, 2008
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