I was hung up on the phone by my mom yesterday, a practice commonly exercised between us. My mom is visiting with my brother and staying at his house at the moment. She is angry at the relationship dynamics that my brother and his wife has-- she thought that he was "doing TOO much" for his wife and her family. When my brother cooked all day for the Thanksgiving dinner at his ILs, she "couldn't take it anymore," she said. Can you believe this? She should be happy that he's happy in his marriage and get along so well with his ILs!
In the end she brought this up to my brother's ILs and they're not really talking to each other now. Then my sister-in-law complained about my mom to my brother and he took my mom's side and they had a huge fight.
After listening to this story, in which my mom thought she was the right one as usual, I told her, in Korean, not to get too upset since my brother and his wife are really American and this is just an American way of doing things. Then she said "how could they fight when I'm in the same home and I can hear her?" My mom isn't the quietest person in the world, and I pointed out that mom said to me explaining about her own behavior that "it's OK and only natural for people to shout when they're 'so' angry." Then she became dead quiet and told me she had to hang up and there she hung up on me as usual.
I don't even know what to even call this kind of crazy thinking and behavior. It's definitely a pattern she has though. I hate to complain about my mom but she really drives me mad.
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4 comments:
I know, it's maddening the cultural differences sometimes. I have a whole list going with my KMIL right now- which I don't blog about since family members read the blog- :) but my hubby knows all about it! ... it's super hard when the IL's make assumptions based on their culture without even considering that maybe it's not all other people's fault! *sigh*
wow. nobody pushes my buttons the way my mother does. the woman has a special knack for saying the cruelest most honest things right to my face. asian mothers are scary. i don't plan on marrying in my mother's lifetime. i wouldn't want to throw that kind of crazy on anyone.
i feel for you.
~w
Ahaha. I am not laughing at your situation; I'm laughing at the conversation I just had with my own mom. Oy. Seriously. Korean mothers can be so... damn Korean. :-)
marz- Yup, Koreans can be quite big on blaming others. It can be really hard. I'm sorry you've got all that going on with your in-laws.
William- Thanks for commiserating. Honesty is over-rated. My mom told my sister-in-law that there are many things she's not happy about than happy about her.
MN- damn Korean is right!
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